The Search for the Invisible Sugar Cain


Here at Wiggly Pet HQ we have been invaded by some lovely Charlee Pandas – they seem to be everywhere!

Anyway me and Alice had observed that the larger Wiggly Woo Jean seemed to always have some invisible sugar cain on her for them. So we decided to hide in her pockets to see where she was getting it from.

But it didn’t work :(

All that happened is that we got shocken about something awful – Alice even threw up. ( :( she just hit me and said so did I and then got grumpy when I said I hadn’t included that bit as it made me seem a bit lame – not sure what I’ve done wrong.)

Then we ended up sitting on a thing called a ‘desk’ at a scary loud place full of children called a ‘school’. Apparently this is where the older Wiggly Woos go – Alice said we already knew that wiggly woos (humans call them children) went to school, but I didn’t.

Anyway we ended up there all week and human kids have huge lung capacities and they never ever ever SHUT UP!

(Alice says I am the grump and that they were lovely too us, making us ‘pretend food’ out of plasticine – even if little Joey did get confused and accidently feed us his boggy.)

Thankfully Jean remembered to bring us home on Friday. I have spent the weekend trying to recover – Alice is moaning saying ‘yeah and I haven’t wash the boggy off of me’ I don’t know what she is talking about :/



Panda Mayhem!


Interesting things have been afoot here at Wiggly Pet HQ! It was the wiggly woos birthday (the humans call wiggly woos babies and this one was 2 yrs old), the house was full of lots of ‘children’ who made so much noise a wiggly pet could not hear himself thinking.

So I went out into the garden as there was lovely sunshine even though it is the middle of winter!

And that was when I saw it – a giant black and white animal – as big as a human!

Panda heading towards Jean

It was heading straight over to Jean (the older Wiggly Woo), it was making little purring noises and amazingly Jean didn’t even stop drinking her drink.

Jean and the Giant Panda

Then however it turned around and stormed up the garden straight at one of the humans adults! It was making the strangest barking noise.

Giant Panda attacks Alaric

It reared right up at the human and I thought, ‘eek! That’s it the poor thing is done for!’ Humans are not well equipped with natural weapons and this creature looked savage!

But the human (I think it was the one known as ‘Daddy’ I find it so hard to tell them apart – especially the adults), just started to laugh! Yes that’s right laugh. He seemed to think it was really funny – I could see nothing funny about the situation at all.

But I think the human must have known how to deal with the creature as it seemed to subside and just sort of snugged down. Jean then fed it some invisible sugar cain – I haven’t been able to discover where she got it from yet but me and Alice will be going on an explore to find the plantation soonly.

Whilst it was eating I found out it is a special breed called a Charlee Panda. I think the extra human who came to stay for the party much have bought it as her name was Charlee too. Coincidence? I think not!

Once it had finished eating it scooped the baby up and grabbed Jean and us wiggly pets were about to storm the thing and make sure it didn’t eat the wiggly woos.

Panda and babes

But it turned out to only want a hug!

Panda Charlee and the girls

So it was all ok in the end and it seemed really friendly.



The Cupboard of Cups


So after seeing the picture of Normali Tea – the very happy entity that looks a lot like a mug, me and Alice thought we would go and have a look in the cupboard just incase the mugs are alive and we had just some how missed it.

We decided to take the first contact kit with us just incase – this is a very sophisticated apparatus involving tin foil, origami and shouting slowly. Alice says that I shouldn’t just shout at all creatures slowly in English, maybe Universal but not English. I tried to explain that the old Human had explained that English is Universal but she just glared at me and then at him which considering how big humans are is quiet brave. Of course he then decided he needed to go and make a coffee rather than argue the point with her which I felt was a bit silly of him (I think it is a him anyway – it is so hard to tell with humans). Alice says that if we really think that English is the Universal language then we should go and talk to Mother Lang about it all.

I may well do that!

Anyway we got to the cupboard over the great desert of Floor Tile and found we could not open the doors :/ They were simply too big and too heavy, so we had two choices – to either wait for a human to come along and open it or we could turn back and make sure we packed levers and what not for the next day and try again.

We decided to wait and sure enough the little Wiggly-Woo (humans call them babies) came along and tried to open the door. It opened a crack but then stopped. The poor little thing pulled and pulled on the door but it wouldn’t go any further. Alice at this point pointed out that we could get into the cupboard through the crack so we did. And then the door shut.

And we couldn’t pull it open again and it was dark in the cupboard and we got really scared (Alice says no I got really scared but I’m sure her teeth were chattering from fright! (she says w don’t have teeth) ). We called out to the ranks of mugs behind us but there was no answer, this made it all even more spooky.

Eventually one of the humans opened the door – this time it opened all the way and it was easy to just hop out. Of course this made the human jump and drop a mug. The poor thing smashed to pieces all over the tiles :(

Alice burst into tears and the human stopped shouting and asked why she was crying – when we explained she said that the mugs weren’t alive and gave us a rasin each.



The Baby Bunny


Baby bunny saying hi to a Wiggly Pet

Last week Sethina was in the garden when the feline over lords known as the kittens came out of now where and knocked him over. The black and white terrors dashed pasted him (erm her – well she was originally Seth but as we wiggly pets don’t really do the gender things he/she became board and decided to become a girl instead but we couldn’t persuade her to change her name as she liked Seth for some reason.). It soon became obvious that they had cornered a poor little baby bunny and were batting at it – of course she didn’t hesitate and rushed in which resulted in him being batted about like a ping pong ball but it did somewhat distract the cats.

Once the cats got board Sethina went to see if the little thing was ok, it was hurt and scared so he went and got a human to come and look. I think we must have gotten the female known as Mummy, who scooped it up and checked it over and fussed alot. She put it in a large cage and shooed us all away saying that what was most likely to kill it was shock from all the loud people and handling but that it did seem to only have scratches.

Also apparently it’s Bunny parents might not take it back now as it smelt of cat and human (and too be honest who could blame them! I mean have you smelt humans and cats! One smells of damp carpet on a good day and the other smell of the Swamp Flatulence Globs of the ALpha Centuri complex.

Baby Bunny

The bunny’s scratches healed up over the next few days and the humans took great lengths to build it a run in the garden so it would have grass and things – they plan to set it free once it’s bigger but it seems to really like it here. It told me that it felt safe with all of us around though it does miss it’s Mummy nuzzles but the cats can’t get it and neither can the naughty vixen who comes down the field every night.



Almost Boiled Alive!


Ok so last week the one of the humans said that they didn’t consider the bright yellow flower known as a dandilion a weed like some of the other humans and that if we wanted a job we should come and see them. Me and Alice turned up eggar and ready to help and the human set us to picking all the yellow flowers we could find!

Apparently dandilions make a lovely desert wine.

We got the whole crew on bored and picked all day sneezing and becoming steadily more yellow from the pollen. Zack couldn’t seem to tell the difference between the bright yellow flowers and the fluffy white seed balls these marvolous flowers turn into. As a result he went on a short paragluide clinding onto the seed for his dear life!

Anyway we managed to pick enough for the human to have to use both its’ fermenting buckets – it seemed to pour water on the flowers and add some sugar and stuff. But what happened was that the kettle had to be boiled for various stages of cleaning buckets and things and me being covered in the yellow pollen I accidently got thrown into the fermenting bucket with all the flowers and I would have been boiled alive if the humans wiggly woo (I think I’ve mentioned before humans call them babies) hadn’t gotten all excited.

(Alice says I’m exaggerating again and that at no point was I almost boiled alive other wise the wiggly woo would not have been crawling around the kitchen at that point in the wine making – I think she is just rose tinting the past personally.)


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